Dating and Relationships - Atlanta Style

Come and enjoy a funny and thought provoking blog dealing with today's treacherous dating arena.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself)-Part One

A while ago I wrote a book called, Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself). It was supposed to serve as a complement to Bourgeois Blues. A number of people enjoyed it, so I decided to share it with everyone.

Every week, I'll provide you all with an excerpt from it. So sit back and enjoy.

At the beginning of a relationship, we're all dewy-eyed with lust. Passionate vows of everlasting love are made to each other. But over time, those ardent promises are forgotten, seductive glances are no longer exchanged, and long, lingering kisses are replaced with quick pecks on the cheek. Does this sound a little familiar? We all get into relationships and we tend to get comfortable with each other and we stop doing all the little things that we did to get him in the first place. I'm guilty of this as well. We forget how to date him, we forget how to seduce him, and we forget how to appreciate him.

Now whether he's your sweetie for life and the relationship needs rejuvenation, or he's someone you've just met and you see a possible future between the two of you, I can work with you. Remember these words: Maintaining and creating a healthy, trusting, and loving relationship doesn't mysteriously happen just because you love that person. It takes more than love. It takes a strong belief in God, understanding, patience, a willingness to accept change, and open communication between you and your love.

The next step is to take your relationship to another level. To strengthen your bond of love, to deepen your commitment to each other, and to enrich your cocoon of intimacy. It can all be achieved by the sexual seduction, the spiritual seduction, and the sensual seduction. We will explore each one in detail.

The title of this book is Denise Daniels' Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself). Don't ever forget who's important. You! It's a woman's nature to be nurturing and caring, but don't get so caught up pleasing someone that you neglect your well-being. If you find that happening, step back and re-prioritize your life. I don't want you to carry the responsibility of doing all the work in the relationship, it's a two-way street. Before you knock yourself out with doing all this, make sure that the brother is worthy of all this special attention. There's nothing more disheartening and discouraging than wasting your time and energy, and sometimes money, on a brother who doesn't deserve it. Choose your man carefully.

Read this guide with an open mind and heart. While reading through some parts of it, you may think, what a slut. Please don't, look at it as a woman who is taking control of her spiritual and physical happiness. So change into an over-sized T-shirt, unplug the phone, lock the doors, and grab your favorite drink. I'm going to give you some tips that will make your man feel like a king. An African king.

Spiritual Seduction!

Spiritual. Spiritual. Spiritual. A word that causes some people to shiver with anticipation, stomachs to knot in fear from the unknown, or some people to smile knowingly. I took a mini poll among my friends to get their definition of spiritual. To one girlfriend it meant religion, God in particular. One brother graced me with a cocked eyebrow and wanted to know when I started communicating with ghosts. And to let him know when I planned on talking with them again so that he can ask his cousin Tyrone where he left his ATM card. Okay? After him I wanted to give up, but I didn't. I asked a wise sister-friend. I sat in awe as her face shimmered with tranquility. She told me that spirituality is the love and honor you have for God and yourself. She went on to say that, making a spiritual connection with yourself can be a mind-blowing, wondrous, and cleansing experience. But making a spiritual connection with your partner is a million times better than any drug on the market. No synthetic concoction can replicate the power and strength from within. We are going to do some connecting. Let's embrace spirituality.

Desiree Day


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