Dating and Relationships - Atlanta Style

Come and enjoy a funny and thought provoking blog dealing with today's treacherous dating arena.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Three

Welcome back!!! I'm still focusing on the Spiritual Seduction.

To read an excerpt from Bourgeois Blues, please visit


Praise the Lord! Throw your arms up and let His blessings rain on you. Bask in His loving-kindness. Share your feelings of tranquility and completeness that you get from praising God with your baby. You want to expose him to your love of God the right way. Take the time to scout out the perfect spot, away from the distractions of your daily life, where you can open your soul and share your beliefs with him. Call your auntie, your grandmother, your cousins, or your mother-in-law to get names of churches that you and your sweetie can visit. Spend Sundays visiting churches. Take your time finding a house of worship, it's a very personal decision. Pick the one that meets all your spiritual needs. Praise the Lord in public, announce your love and devotion to God to the world. Do it during the week and the weekends. Attend weekly bible study classes and services together.

Pick a grassy hill or a cool shaded area in the park and let nature serve as a lustrous backdrop. Nature isn't your thing? Grab some over-size pillows and form a nest in front of the fireplace. Get comfortable and read a favorite scripture out loud to him. Savor it together, let the power of his words envelop your bodies.

God is with us twenty-four-seven, so don't save your blessings until bedtime. Have daily conversations with Him. Thank Him for giving you the opportunity to open your eyes in the morning and close them at night. Thank Him for surrounding you with loving and forgiving family and friends. Honor your wondrous relationship with Him.

Sister-friend, throw your head back and conjure up a picture of your man. Let the image of the way his dimples deepen in his cheeks whenever he laughs, or the frown that mars his face whenever he's troubled, or the way he confidently struts into a room, waft through your head. Yes, that's your baby. That's the man who can turn you into his personal freak mama by the mere crook of his finger.

Find a cozy room in your home, that is bursting with positive vibes, where the two of you won't be disturbed for a couple of hours. Change into loose fitting clothing that will allow for smooth fluid movements. Light several candles and arrange them into a circle large enough for you two to sit in. Drape the room with jazz, new age, or gospel music. Sit facing each other in the middle of the ring of candles. Open your eyes, heart, and soul while you gently stroke your partner's body as you whisper what you love about him. Don't be timid. Feel the power of your loving words. Imagine them going to the core of his being. Give him a chance to reciprocate with compliments of his own. Embrace the love flowing in the room. Whew! I know, this is deep. Practice this regularly. Do it before you feel yourself drifting away from your baby. Use it as a relationship enriching experience, and not as a last ditch effort to save it.

Do you have a favorite book that makes you scream with laughter? Or one that makes you squirm with desire? Maybe you have one that is so thought-provoking that it keeps you up at night. Don't be greedy, let your baby in on your secret, share it with him. He'll feel special that you're sharing something as intimate as a favorite book with him. Spend an evening in front of the fireplace or outside under the stars on a warm summer's night reading out loud to each other. Sit back and enjoy the sound of each other's voice. Let it wash over you like a warm tropical breeze.Pen a poem in honor of your main squeeze. Don't worry about spelling, rhyming, or sounding ostentatious, just listen to your heart and the words will flow onto the page as if by magic. Praise him for being a strong Black man. Applaud his parenting skills.

Pay homage to the way he patiently listens to the children whenever they are distressed over a problem. Compose an unforgettable poem about the way his face softens with love whenever he talks about his mother. Tell him how he made you feel after he gave you your third orgasm. Love the way his skin looks and feels after a shower? Tell him. Show your silly side, make fun of the look of amazement he gets when Michael Jordan scores on his favorite basketball player. Keep the flame of spirituality burning with your sweetie by listening to your inner voice for guidance.

Happy Holidays!!!

See you all next week.

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love


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