Dating and Relationships - Atlanta Style

Come and enjoy a funny and thought provoking blog dealing with today's treacherous dating arena.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Nine

Okay, this week is the physical seduction. Let's jump right into it.

The Physical Seduction!

Depending on where you are in your relationship, you may have skipped the prior chapters and jumped directly to this one. That's cool, it all depends on what your motives are. If you're looking to do a hit-and-run, some parts of this chapter will work for you. If your mission is to take your lovemaking to another level, read on. We've talked about getting to know your sweetie spiritually, teasing and taunting his five senses, and making your surroundings as sensuous and intimate as possible. Connecting with your honey on a physical level can be an earth shattering experience. But before you lay between the sheets, I want you to read Denise's Ground Rules.

1. Always use protection! If you feel shy about broaching the subject of contraceptives with your partner, don't beat yourself up, a number of women are hesitant about being the first to initiate such a sensitive subject. But it's a very necessary discussion and having it is literally a matter of life and death. It really shouldn't take long. Just ask him, "Your condom or mine?" See four simple words that can save your life. You don't have to be so glib about it, but you get my point. No condom, no movement between the sheets.

2. Never, ever do anything that you're uncomfortable doing! If he wants to tie you to the bed and you're not having it, tell him. But do think about compromising. Maybe a silk scarf tied loosely around your wrists might do the job. Still shaking your head no? It's your body and he has to respect that. Does he want you to talk dirty and your mouth just can't form the words? Compromise. Think of a "clean" word with a similar meaning. If this doesn't appease him, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Remember that lovemaking should be a loving activity between two adults, if one isn't fully into it, there's going to be built up resentment over time.

3. Never compare him to any of your former lovers! The time that you spend together is your time, not Trevin's, Julian's, or Ahmad's. Forget about the first time when you and Julian made love and he sucked your toes until you almost cried like a baby. Scratch all memories of Ahmad's penchant for showering your body with kisses until you writhed in desire. If they were all that, you would still be with at least one of them. Drown in the bliss of your happiness with your current honey.

4. Feel comfortable with your body! Forget about those extra fifteen pounds that you have to lose. Forget about the stretch marks. Forget about the scars that are leftover from the time you had the chicken pox when you were six years old. Let go of all those insecurities. No one has the perfect body. Knowing that, love your body. One trick that I learned to help me feel comfortable with my body is to stand naked in front of a full-length mirror with all the lights on and just admire my body. Run your hands over your body and appreciate the smoothness and softness of it. Revel in the beauty of your womanly curves. Adore your body. It's yours. It's what God gave you.

See you next week.

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love


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