Dating and Relationships - Atlanta Style

Come and enjoy a funny and thought provoking blog dealing with today's treacherous dating arena.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Eight

Welcome back. Sorry for not posting anything last week. But here we go.

You've given his eyes something to feast on, now let's tempt his appetite. Baking, stir frying, grilling, braising, poaching, broiling, any way you say it, it's still cooking. A scrumptious, elegantly presented meal can make or break an evening. Now, keep in mind that cooking is not for everybody. There are some people who just don't want to be bothered with all the mixing, stirring, and the chopping. Then you have the people who, um, to be politically correct, fall into the cooking challenged group.

I have a friend whose fiancee had major problems in the kitchen.
Morris bragged on and on to all of us about Mia. According to him, Mia was the finest, smartest, and most down to earth lady on this planet. The man just loved him some Mia. Being in love the way they were, Mia had arranged a romantic evening for her man at her home. She had planned on cooking a mouth-watering feast for him. She had it laid out. Her home was spotless, incense burned hypnotically in the background and her table was hooked up, she had set it the way her grandmother had taught her.

According to Morris, the meal was so revolting that even her pet terrier wouldn't touch it. Fortunately, he was so in love with her at this point that he didn't care if she couldn't melt a stick of butter. He stocked up on cookbooks, conferred with his mother, bought himself an apron, and he handled the cooking. Now that's true love. Yes, he still married her.

If you're another Mia, you have some options. If you're lucky enough to find a man like Morris, then you're in there. If not, I suggest that you start a collection of take out menus from the neighborhood restaurants, because you'll be using them a lot. If you're both somewhat adequate cooks, take turns cooking special meals for each other. Another option is cooking classes. Many community colleges offer evening cooking classes for everyone ranging from the novice to the gourmet. Find a class that matches your skill level, where you would feel comfortable and not intimidated. After learning the basics of cooking, surprise your man with a lip-smacking home cooked meal.

It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but it would impress the hell out of him if it were, but he'll love whatever you decide to make. Just because you made the effort to do it.

This is pretty short entry. But stop back later this week when I move onto the Physical Seduction.

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love

Friday, January 13, 2006

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Seven

Hey y'all!

We're still on the Sensual Seduction. Denise Daniels is the main character from Bourgeois Blues. You can read an excerpt at

Here we go.

Let's get the basics out of the way. Clean it up! Pull out the vacuum cleaner, disinfectant, and room spray and do some heavy duty cleaning. Scrub it down, wipe it off, and shake it out. Don't leave anything untouched. If a statue or picture hasn't been moved in years, be careful before moving it, you don't know which one of God's creatures made their home underneath it. Show him a home that your mama would be proud of visiting or better yet, even his mother.

Clear off that big rectangular item in the middle of your dining room. Spend some time at your local department stores where you can find a nice selection of inexpensive dinnerware and glassware without reaching too deeply into your Coach bag. Dress the table with color coordinated accents. Cloth napkins, place mats, and ten to twelve-inch tapers. Keep in mind what each color scheme will convey. Remember, we want to set the mood.

Black and gold lends an air of elegance to the evening, you can never go wrong with this color combination. It'll make him think that he's dining out at a four star restaurant. Soft pastels, pink, blue, and purple are very soothing and romantic. Bright jewel tones fuchsia, amethyst, and red are fun and playful, they can be toned down under the muted candlelight. Be creative and let your personality show when you set your table.

Adorn it with an inexpensive bouquet of flowers. You can always find eye-catching arrangements on sale in the florist section inside many grocery stores. Flowers don't do it for you? Find a unique centerpiece that'll complement your table, not overwhelm it. You want to be able to see your baby.

Complement the evening with your favorite music wafting throughout your home. Seduce him with some of the classics. You can't go wrong with the Isley Brothers, The O'Jays, and some Al Green.

Add some ambience to your special evening with incense or scented candles. Incense may be a little strong, so you might want to burn it a couple of hours before your romantic interlude and it'll leave behind a sultry cloud of scent. On the other hand, votive candles with their delicate scent can be burned throughout the night, filling the room with a long lasting intoxicating fragrance.

Thanks for visiting. See you next week.

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love

Friday, January 06, 2006

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Six

Happy New Year everybody. Hope you all had a safe and fun one.

I am still focusing on The Sensual Seduction!

We've touched on the underwear, let's look at your outerwear. Glance down, what are you wearing? Is it something that's reminiscent of what your mother wore after changing out of her work clothes? A ratty silk head scarf, tattered, frayed jeans that are a couple sizes too small, and an overstretched T-shirt. This is a no-no. Hook it up! I'm not talking about walking around all day in designer suits, high heels, and stockings. And you don't have to dress like you're about to spend the night out on the town. What I'm talking about is making sure your outfit is color coordinated, spotless, and without holes.

Sounds like basic stuff! I know, but let me tell you a quick story about a girlfriend of mine. Tania got it going on! She has sistahs from miles around hating her, sistah haters. She got the sports car, good job, good man, who also has a good job, and she's gorgeous. What's her problem? Every Friday whenever she and her boyfriend didn't have plans, she pulled off her work clothes, and threw on a pair of funky holey sweat pants and a ripped up T-shirt that had seen better days. What's wrong with this? You're probably asking yourself. Girlfriend is just chilling. No, she didn't bathe for two days straight, which by itself isn't that bad, but when she went to the gym and had a grueling workout, she had packs of dogs following her home. The self-imposed back to nature weekends nearly cost her her boyfriend. Fortunately, she wised up and now they're happily married.

Tania's case is a little extreme, but it is important to keep yourself looking nice, not just for your sweetie, but for yourself as well. Have you ever been over a brother's house for dinner and discovered that boyfriend hadn't emptied the garbage in two weeks, washed dishes in about three, and you weren’t able to make out the color of his carpeting because it was covered with his dirty laundry? You're nodding your head. Don't be a female version of this slob. Does the stench of yesterday's chitlins dinner hit you as soon as you open your door? Clean it up! He doesn't need to know what you had for dinner the night before, he should be teased and enticed by the aroma of your perfume. Drip drying your pantyhose and bras in the bathroom? Clean it up! That's just tacky.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Yes, the surroundings are just as important as the activity. Whatever you have planned with your baby, you want to set a warm and inviting background that complements your activity. Seduce him visually. Give him an unforgettable evening, which will lead to many more.

See you next week.

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love