Dating and Relationships - Atlanta Style

Come and enjoy a funny and thought provoking blog dealing with today's treacherous dating arena.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Eleven

I have an exercise for you. Pay attention, there will be a test afterwards. Get your man, pull him away from whatever he’s doing and drag him into the bedroom. Set the mood. You pick the music, the scent, and the tasty edibles. Slowly undress yourself, then leisurely disrobe him. I want you to get to know his body. Run your fingers over his head. What do you feel? Is it as smooth as an egg, soft as silk, or a little rough? What was his reaction? Did he like it? Now run your hands over his face. Feel the roughness of his day-old hair growth. Feel his full luscious lips, his strong nose, and sculpted jawbone. Rub your hands over his broad shoulders, outline his pecs and gently swipe your hands over his nipples. Be conscious of how the texture of his skin feels to you and pay attention to his reaction to your touch. Does he move away? Or does he press his body towards your touch?

Play a game of fire and desire, it's a fun way to find his e-zones. Rub an ice cube over his body and watch him tremble with desire. Watch his reactions. Spend time on his e-zones. Follow it up with your searing kisses to heat him up. Surprise! There’s no test. The goal was for you to develop skills to become attuned to your partner’s likes and dislikes in bed. Keep the fire smoldering by spending lazy Sunday afternoons or Saturday mornings exploring each other’s bodies.

A Swedish massage is another erotic and sensual way to get to know your man's body. Learn the various skin manipulations, kneading, chopping, squeezing, and tapping of this sensual massage from a book or video. To make the massage even more pleasurable, massage oil or lotion should be used. Shopping for lubricant can be a fun experience, it can be found practically everywhere. For the more adventurous, try an adult specialty store. While you're there wander around the store, you'll be surprised at the plethora of goodies on the shelves. The more timid souls can try a department store or a lingerie shop for their body lubricating cream. You'll find that in your quest for the perfect cream, you'll have a lot of choices. There is edible massage oil in tantalizing flavors of ambrosia, strawberry, cherry, and chocolate that is sure to excite your taste buds. There's massage oil that heats up once it's on the body, this is a very popular choice with couples. The longer it stays on, the hotter it gets. Exciting!

Or to taunt his other senses, you might want to go for the scented massage oil. Fill the room with an erotic fragrance as you fulfill his dreams. Whatever your preference is, rub some on your hands and get busy. It's nine o'clock at night, you and your honey are cuddled up on the couch watching TV. Suddenly, out of the blue, he cups your face between his hands and gently peppers your face with kisses. Your lips meet and it's on! He tugs on your hand, and in a desire-induced trance you follow him into the bedroom. Snap out of it! Don't let yourself fall into the routine of making love in the same place. The phrase, location, location, location isn't applicable only in real estate. Re-energize your love making by seducing him in the least expected places. Use your imagination. Feeling a little bold? Take your man home to mother nature. Make love under the stars with the sky as your blanket and the grass as your mattress. Let the balmy summer breeze waft over your bodies as you two explode in ecstasy. Take a walk down memory lane. Remember in high school where the back seat of his parents' car was the only place you two were able to be alone? Well, it's years later and he has his own ride, revisit that back seat. Take a trip to the park, find a heavily wooded secluded spot and steam those windows up like you did in high school.

See you next week.

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Ten

Let's continue with our Physical Seduction.

5. Take control! I'm not talking about donning a whip and barking out commands. You don't want to give him flashbacks from his military days. Or at the very least make him think you're the sergeant in command. There are subtle ways to tell him what you want. One technique is to gently guide his hands to the place you desire him to touch you. You can adjust the tempo of love making by slowing your stroke, forcing him to do the same. Don't be afraid to change positions. If the one that he likes isn't working for you, whisper a suggestion for a different one in his ear. Making love isn't all about him, nor is it all about you. It's a loving dance of give and take between two partners.

6. Have fun! Let loose. Make all the noise you want. Clear your mind of any problems that you're having at work. Forget the fact that your six-year-old just broke your prized African vase. Ignore that nagging voice in the back of your head telling you that good girls don't enjoy sex. And if you do enjoy it, you're a slut. Every time that voice sneaks in, squash it with thoughts of how good your man is making you feel at that moment.

Erogenous Zones. Wipe that smirk off your face! You probably think that all men have one erogenous zone, and they think with it. Well, okay, some men do. But you'll be just as guilty as the men who think that all women have only two hot spots. That's right, the breasts, and the second, which I don't need to mention, which lies just a little farther south of the border.

Men, like women, have their hot spots too. Men love it when women pay attention to the not so commonly known erogenous zones. They want to be caressed, stroked, and rubbed just like women. Your man may like a soft nip on his neck. Or gentle prodding in his ear by an eager tongue. It might be barely-there butterfly kisses on his rounded behind or soft feather-light strokes on his nipples. He may whimper with desire caused by teasing tongue strokes to the inside of his thighs and elbows.

This brings up another point. Know your man's body. Don't assume that all men like the same thing. Lauria a girlfriend of mine made that mistake once. She had just ended a three-year relationship with her boyfriend, Lorenzo. Not missing a beat, she immediately started dating a fine brother named, Jerome. When they finally decided to cross that line into indescribable rapture, intense joy, exquisite euphoria, okay, okay, make love, Lauria followed the same script that she did with Lorenzo. She didn't deviate from her routine one bit. What she did to get Lorenzo excited for the past three years, she did it to Jerome. She just substituted one body for another, not intentionally of course, but innocently. She was only doing what she thought men liked, based on her past experiences.

After weeks of this, a very disappointed Jerome finally voiced his frustrations and showed Lauria what he liked done to him in bed. He did it in a way that didn't offend Lauria. After that, Lauria was more willing to experiment with different techniques to keep her man happy. Don't do what Lauria did, don't assume what made your last lover thrash with desire will cause your current lover to do the same. Find out what makes him happy.

Have some fun this week, seduce your partner!

See you next week.

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Nine

Okay, this week is the physical seduction. Let's jump right into it.

The Physical Seduction!

Depending on where you are in your relationship, you may have skipped the prior chapters and jumped directly to this one. That's cool, it all depends on what your motives are. If you're looking to do a hit-and-run, some parts of this chapter will work for you. If your mission is to take your lovemaking to another level, read on. We've talked about getting to know your sweetie spiritually, teasing and taunting his five senses, and making your surroundings as sensuous and intimate as possible. Connecting with your honey on a physical level can be an earth shattering experience. But before you lay between the sheets, I want you to read Denise's Ground Rules.

1. Always use protection! If you feel shy about broaching the subject of contraceptives with your partner, don't beat yourself up, a number of women are hesitant about being the first to initiate such a sensitive subject. But it's a very necessary discussion and having it is literally a matter of life and death. It really shouldn't take long. Just ask him, "Your condom or mine?" See four simple words that can save your life. You don't have to be so glib about it, but you get my point. No condom, no movement between the sheets.

2. Never, ever do anything that you're uncomfortable doing! If he wants to tie you to the bed and you're not having it, tell him. But do think about compromising. Maybe a silk scarf tied loosely around your wrists might do the job. Still shaking your head no? It's your body and he has to respect that. Does he want you to talk dirty and your mouth just can't form the words? Compromise. Think of a "clean" word with a similar meaning. If this doesn't appease him, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Remember that lovemaking should be a loving activity between two adults, if one isn't fully into it, there's going to be built up resentment over time.

3. Never compare him to any of your former lovers! The time that you spend together is your time, not Trevin's, Julian's, or Ahmad's. Forget about the first time when you and Julian made love and he sucked your toes until you almost cried like a baby. Scratch all memories of Ahmad's penchant for showering your body with kisses until you writhed in desire. If they were all that, you would still be with at least one of them. Drown in the bliss of your happiness with your current honey.

4. Feel comfortable with your body! Forget about those extra fifteen pounds that you have to lose. Forget about the stretch marks. Forget about the scars that are leftover from the time you had the chicken pox when you were six years old. Let go of all those insecurities. No one has the perfect body. Knowing that, love your body. One trick that I learned to help me feel comfortable with my body is to stand naked in front of a full-length mirror with all the lights on and just admire my body. Run your hands over your body and appreciate the smoothness and softness of it. Revel in the beauty of your womanly curves. Adore your body. It's yours. It's what God gave you.

See you next week.

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love