Dating and Relationships - Atlanta Style

Come and enjoy a funny and thought provoking blog dealing with today's treacherous dating arena.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Denise Daniel's Guide to Pleasing Your Man (And Yourself) - Part Thirteen

I'm back. I had to take a little hiatus. I've been busy putting the finishing touches on my new novel, Cruising, which is scheduled to be released in September 2006. And I completed another novel 1920 Peachtree.

So enough with all that, let's delve right in.

It’s crucial that you talk to your man to find out what's causing his inability to make love to you. The first thing you need to do is to get out of the bed! You hear me? I'll repeat it. Get out of the bed! Better yet, get out of the bedroom! You want to move to a neutral area where he won't feel like you're blaming him or attacking his manhood. Move into the living room and talk. Ask him what's wrong. He may or may not want to talk at this point. He may be too embarrassed. Don't press him. Let him know that you're there for him. He'll appreciate the fact that you didn't emasculate him. If the problem persists, don't overlook the fact that it may be a physiological problem. Consult your personal physician who might be able to treat him, if not, he'll refer him on to a specialist. Stay with your baby and work through this crisis with him.

Other sure fire tips to keep him feeling loved, cherished, and appreciated.

1. Compliment him daily. Remember, everybody loves praise. Men are no exception. Be sure to do it daily, don't do it so much that he thinks he's all that. But do it enough to let him know that you appreciate him. Your compliment could be something as small as how the color of his shirt flatters his skin or how good his pants look with his shirt. I know this sounds basic, but just remember how good you felt when someone paid you a compliment when you least expected it.

2. Make a concerted effort to talk to your significant other. On weekdays you find yourself running to pick up the kids from daycare, rushing to fix dinner, and hurrying to get that extra load of laundry done. And during all this, the nagging thought in the back of your mind is to talk with your honey. But by the time you're finished with everything you had to do, you're tired, he's groggy and the only thing that you two are going to do is hit the sheets. No, not for lovemaking, but sleep. Let's try to break this cycle. As soon as you get home, take a deep cleansing breath, ignore the mess, ignore the fact that you have to cook dinner for your hungry brood. Spend twenty minutes of downtime with your sweetie. Isn't realistic? Okay, let's try this. Have your honey join you in the kitchen and help you prepare dinner. This will give you two some much needed time to talk about each other's day and just simply enjoy each other's company.

3. Make a date with your guy. Pencil him in for lunch. Stop, I saw that frown. Yes, make a date with your man. It's not as planned or unromantic as it sounds. With the merry-go-round that everyone is on nowadays, it's imperative that you schedule time with your man. You take control of the situation. The goal is for you two to spend quality time with each other. While you're on this date, any talk about work, family, children, or current events is forbidden. The purpose here is to re-connect and seduce each other.

See you next week!

Desiree Day
Author of Crazy Love